Below is the final script for the opening of our film Withheld. There is little dialogue throughout the film, however we feel that this is integral to creating tension and an air of mystery. The lack of dialogue, and thus information, ties in with the title since information is being withheld from the protagonist and the viewer. We want the viewer to discover things at the same time that she does which will help create a sense of attachment to her and sympathise with her. This will make the final twist of the film even more shocking.
Withheld Script Final
20/12/2010
Withheld Treatment - Final
After listening to the constructive criticisms of our peers, as well as advice from our teacher, we have produced the final revision of our media treatment for Withheld. Overall I am very happy with the treatment and feel it reflects the vision of our final film perfectly. We shall use this treatment during the film in order help us turn our vision into reality.
Media Treatment - Final
Media Treatment - Final
13/12/2010
Treatment Pitch and Feedback
Above is an audio recording of our group pitching our treatment for our film, Withheld, to our peers and receiving feedback. We then used this to make and adjustments and alterations we felt were necessary.
Mr. Hood gave us feedback saying that the credits and camera angles should not be included, however they really help build up a picture of what is happening. We shall change the treatment so that camera angles aren't included, however.
We were very happy that people understood our choice for the title and our reasons behind it, as well feeling that it added something to the film as a whole.
As Jodie said, she hadn't heard our initial pitch and so didn't know what the film was about in its entirety, yet was very curious to find out more and wanted to know the rest of the story. We all felt that this was very positive and boosted our confidence greatly, as well as reinforcing that we made the right decision in using and developing this idea.
12/12/2010
Withheld - Media Treatment
Media Treatment
This is the first draft of the opening two minutes of our first feature film 'Withheld'. We will be submitting this for peer review and I shall upload the audio feedback. We shall then use this to improve anything and everything we can before finalising the treatment prior to filming. We would appreciate any feedback on here also, as it will only help us to get better.
This is the first draft of the opening two minutes of our first feature film 'Withheld'. We will be submitting this for peer review and I shall upload the audio feedback. We shall then use this to improve anything and everything we can before finalising the treatment prior to filming. We would appreciate any feedback on here also, as it will only help us to get better.
10/12/2010
Film Treatment Research
Our group will soon begin writing a treatmentfor our short film in order to present it to our peers. In order to write the treatment in the correct manner I have included some research below, including information on how to correctly structure and write a treatment and examples of treatments from already produced films.
From Wikipedia:
Firstly, I have researched on the internet how to correctly write a film treatment. From Light Film School I have found the following:
This tells me that I should write the treatment as if I were writing a story and explaining a scene in great detail to someone. I should avoid telling them what they will see or what should be on screen, instead I should be informing them of what is happening right at that moment in time.
John Furse has written on his webiste detailed information in how to structure and write a film treatment, including an example of one. From what I have read, I have determined that I should include an introduction, with a brief overview of what is going to happen over the course of the film (or in the case of my treatment, the opening two minutes of the movie), followed by the full length treatment, written as prose in present tense, in a tone that describes exactly what can be seen in order to paint a vivid picture in the mind of the reader, almost with a sense of intensity and urgency. Characters names should also be in capital letters.
Using this information, as well as the treatment for the feature film 'Terminator' that I have included at the end of this post, we shall now start to write the first-draft of our treatment and then present it to our peers for review and feedback. Following this, we shall edit it and write our final treatment. I shall upload both to this blog, so please feel free to read them and comment as any help and advice would be very helpful and greatly appreciated.
Terminator Treatment
From Wikipedia:
A film treatment (or treatment for short) is a piece of prose. They read like a short story, except told in the present tense and describing events as they happen.
Firstly, I have researched on the internet how to correctly write a film treatment. From Light Film School I have found the following:
A film treatment states how the audience will experience the film. It's important to write treatments in an active voice and avoid the use of hyperbole (such as "this unique film will explore" etc). When writing treatments you want your audience to be able to visualize your film. You will want to write in present tense and provide an overview of the characters, locations and details of the film. You can write your treatment creatively. The purpose of a treatment is to allow your audience to smell, taste and experience your environment. Reading a treatment (second only to reading a full script) is the closest written equivalent to the look of your film.
Similarly, you won't want your treatment to have an editorial tone. Rather than saying things like:
This film will dive into the subject of gender relations in the hip hop community. The flm will focus on the relationship between two nemeses; Mr. Bugz and Mrs DJ Spinna.
Instead say:
"Mr. Bugz B and Mrs DJ Spinna stand toe to toe in front of their microphones. Mr. Bugz rhymes and misogynistic rhyme stating "we don't want no ugly girls in here tonight" to which Mrs DJ Spinna retaliates with a rhyme mocking Mr. Bugs unusually large ears. The crowd goes wild. Mr Bugz continues, but with less steam. The insult has touched on a vulnerable part of his identity."
Again, it's important to stress that you need to avoid editorial writing when writing treatments and instead speak in an active and present voice. Similarly, you should avoid using words and phrases like
"Next we see" - Don't start sentences with "we see". Tell the audience what they see without introducing your sentence with "we see".
Try to avoid passive words such as: Should, will, might and maybe.
Passive words evoke less emotion and take the audience out of the story. Feel free to use dialogue snippets, descriptions of the environment and characters. Essentially use any non-technical element that helps you paint as colourful of a picture as possible.
This tells me that I should write the treatment as if I were writing a story and explaining a scene in great detail to someone. I should avoid telling them what they will see or what should be on screen, instead I should be informing them of what is happening right at that moment in time.
John Furse has written on his webiste detailed information in how to structure and write a film treatment, including an example of one. From what I have read, I have determined that I should include an introduction, with a brief overview of what is going to happen over the course of the film (or in the case of my treatment, the opening two minutes of the movie), followed by the full length treatment, written as prose in present tense, in a tone that describes exactly what can be seen in order to paint a vivid picture in the mind of the reader, almost with a sense of intensity and urgency. Characters names should also be in capital letters.
Using this information, as well as the treatment for the feature film 'Terminator' that I have included at the end of this post, we shall now start to write the first-draft of our treatment and then present it to our peers for review and feedback. Following this, we shall edit it and write our final treatment. I shall upload both to this blog, so please feel free to read them and comment as any help and advice would be very helpful and greatly appreciated.
Terminator Treatment
06/12/2010
Conventions Used/Developed/Challenged
Here is a list of the conventions that we plan on using, developing and challenging in our film.
Conventions we have used:
Firstly, the opening is set during the early evening and progresses through to the middle of the night/early hours of the following morning. This convention is often used in thrillers since darkness can help to develop tension and adds mystery. People are sometimes scared to go out late of an evening for fear something bad may happen to them, which is exactly the case with this film. Something happens to a person one night, yet they can't remember what it was at all and are left searching for answers. This is due to the effects of a night of drinking and partying, another convention we shall be using. Alcohol is involved therefore inhibitions are lowered resulting in bad things being more likely to happen.
The protagonist is also beaten up/assaulted but can't remember a thing, a convention often used in thrillers. This is then coupled with missing people and a hunt to find them. As has been mentioned several times, memory loss is a key feature of this film and is also a convention associated with thrillers, someone searching frantically for answers, with the story following their journey to find them. We have also included a mysterious character that people are not too sure about in the form of the car that follows the protagonists as they drive away. If the film were to be produced in its entirety then we would have this mysterious character recurring several times throughout, eventually playing an important role in the story.
Conventions we aim to develop:
The opening of the film shows the girl against a black curtain with flashbacks occurring. Although this is a convention that has been used previously, we plan to develop it further by incorporating the fact that she has been obviously been beaten up/assaulted but is desperately trying to remember what happened to her in the past. Because she is actually the cause of all the problems and horrors she has faced, this is the end product of what she has done. Essentially, she has gradually become lost within her own mind and has gradually descended into madness. We are showing this at the start of the film instead of the end as we think it will keep the audience hooked since they will firstly want to know what happened to her and will be very confused as to why she is acting the way she is. Effectively, we are showing the end of the film first, retracing her story and then returning to the conclusion.
Conventions we are challenging:
Our protagonist is a female who has committed horrendous and atrocious acts, yet she doesn't realise it throughout the film. She has caused herself a lot of trouble and has ruined her life, yet she doesn't know it yet and has to retrace her steps, untangling a web within a maze in order to find out what she did. She will also be wearing a white dress at the start of the film, an item of clothing traditionally identified as being pure and showing innocence, however this truly is not the case with our film. After some deliberation, we have also decided to have her come from a well-off family, where 'daddy pays for everything'. This will hopefully lead the audience to believe that because of her better upbringing and education she is less likely to get herself into serious trouble. We may be able to play on this idea by giving her a rebellious streak, just to juxtapose and contrast the two ideas and hint that maybe something has gone wrong.
We also plan on challenging the way the titles are shown. We plan on having our titles incorporated into our film, such as having them written on notes during the shot, written on a photo, even on a steamy glass shower screen.
I shall update this further if we alter the film in such a way that more conventions are used, challenged or developed.
Conventions we have used:
Firstly, the opening is set during the early evening and progresses through to the middle of the night/early hours of the following morning. This convention is often used in thrillers since darkness can help to develop tension and adds mystery. People are sometimes scared to go out late of an evening for fear something bad may happen to them, which is exactly the case with this film. Something happens to a person one night, yet they can't remember what it was at all and are left searching for answers. This is due to the effects of a night of drinking and partying, another convention we shall be using. Alcohol is involved therefore inhibitions are lowered resulting in bad things being more likely to happen.
The protagonist is also beaten up/assaulted but can't remember a thing, a convention often used in thrillers. This is then coupled with missing people and a hunt to find them. As has been mentioned several times, memory loss is a key feature of this film and is also a convention associated with thrillers, someone searching frantically for answers, with the story following their journey to find them. We have also included a mysterious character that people are not too sure about in the form of the car that follows the protagonists as they drive away. If the film were to be produced in its entirety then we would have this mysterious character recurring several times throughout, eventually playing an important role in the story.
Conventions we aim to develop:
The opening of the film shows the girl against a black curtain with flashbacks occurring. Although this is a convention that has been used previously, we plan to develop it further by incorporating the fact that she has been obviously been beaten up/assaulted but is desperately trying to remember what happened to her in the past. Because she is actually the cause of all the problems and horrors she has faced, this is the end product of what she has done. Essentially, she has gradually become lost within her own mind and has gradually descended into madness. We are showing this at the start of the film instead of the end as we think it will keep the audience hooked since they will firstly want to know what happened to her and will be very confused as to why she is acting the way she is. Effectively, we are showing the end of the film first, retracing her story and then returning to the conclusion.
Conventions we are challenging:
Our protagonist is a female who has committed horrendous and atrocious acts, yet she doesn't realise it throughout the film. She has caused herself a lot of trouble and has ruined her life, yet she doesn't know it yet and has to retrace her steps, untangling a web within a maze in order to find out what she did. She will also be wearing a white dress at the start of the film, an item of clothing traditionally identified as being pure and showing innocence, however this truly is not the case with our film. After some deliberation, we have also decided to have her come from a well-off family, where 'daddy pays for everything'. This will hopefully lead the audience to believe that because of her better upbringing and education she is less likely to get herself into serious trouble. We may be able to play on this idea by giving her a rebellious streak, just to juxtapose and contrast the two ideas and hint that maybe something has gone wrong.
We also plan on challenging the way the titles are shown. We plan on having our titles incorporated into our film, such as having them written on notes during the shot, written on a photo, even on a steamy glass shower screen.
I shall update this further if we alter the film in such a way that more conventions are used, challenged or developed.
05/12/2010
Initial Pitch and Feedback
Above is an audio recording of CAM RAW pitching our final film idea to our peers, followed by their feedback and possible improvements that could be made to the film.
From listening to the initial pitch, we have already decided to drop the knife as a weapon, as we don't plan on showing any weapons in the opening. There also won't be any horror as such in the opening.
As an aside, we have been contemplating having her wake up on a sofa, rather than in bed. We feel that this may be more realistic in one sense, since it will be like she has passed out in the room, however we also prefer the idea of her being in her bedroom since it will add a personal touch, give the girl character and emotion and the audience may feel that they can relate to that more. When filming, we may film both and compare the two, possibly even asking for audience and peer feedback on both as to which they prefer.
We have also added in a small part to the scene where she wakes up. Her phone vibrating on the desk will wake her, with a missed call from an unknown number.
Mr. Hood mentioned Prezi during the pitch. Although we may not use it in our film, we hope to use it as a way of presenting research or information on the blog.
He also talked to us about using a camera in a steam-filmed bathroom and the clarity of the text on the screen. If we can't use the shower screen, we will try the mirror or possibly a shampoo/shower gel bottle. There was also a reminder to make sure we don't write the credit backwards!
We were all very please with the initial score of 8/10, so we don't plan on changing the story too heavily at the moment. Hopefully, once the initial cut is filmed, we can get more feedback and make any changes we feel are necessary.
04/12/2010
Inspiration For Filming
Below is an advert for the ride 13 at Alton Towers. After watching this we felt that it fitted in well with our final thriller opening and the ideas we had in our heads of how it would look upon completion. We plan to use its influence in our final film.
We have also looked at the trailer for the Coronation Street 50th Anniversary Tram Crash episode. We have been inspired by the use of flashforwards in the trailer and the juxtaposition between characters carrying on with their everyday lives and the emergency services rushing around. We would like to implement something similar with flashbacks during the very start of our film. Initially, our protagonist will be shown as upset and frightened, however during the flashbacks she is happy and getting ready for a night out. Hopefully we can achieve a similar effect to that in the trailer, as we feel it is very powerful and emotive.
We have also looked at the trailer for the Coronation Street 50th Anniversary Tram Crash episode. We have been inspired by the use of flashforwards in the trailer and the juxtaposition between characters carrying on with their everyday lives and the emergency services rushing around. We would like to implement something similar with flashbacks during the very start of our film. Initially, our protagonist will be shown as upset and frightened, however during the flashbacks she is happy and getting ready for a night out. Hopefully we can achieve a similar effect to that in the trailer, as we feel it is very powerful and emotive.
02/12/2010
Thriller - Final
As a groupd we have decided on a final draft for our thriller opening.
It will start with a woman against a black curtain. She will be wearing a white dress, staring blankly as several flashbacks of her preparing for a night out take place, followed by her getting into a car at the end of the evening. The following morning, she realises something terrible happened during the night and she can't seem to find any of her loved ones, get in contact with them, nor can she remember anything.
In summary, she is both the protagonist and antagonist of the entire film. Initially, she is going to play the innocent victim in all of this, not having any idea what has happened to her friends, boyfriend and family. To her, she was drugged the night before and now is trapped, living out a nightmare in which she is alone and terrified. In reality, however, she wasn't drugged the night before. Instead, something took over her and caused the horrednous events to unfold. She has no recollection of what happened or why it did, but an unknown number keeps calling her. Hopefully the person on the other end of the phone has the answers she needs, but first she has to find them.
We shall be pitching our idea to our peers soon, asking for advice and feedback afterwards and deciding whether we need to alter the story slightly, dramatically or just go in a completely different direction altogether. Soon, I shall post an audio recording of the pitch and feedback followed by improvements and changes we have decided to make.
It will start with a woman against a black curtain. She will be wearing a white dress, staring blankly as several flashbacks of her preparing for a night out take place, followed by her getting into a car at the end of the evening. The following morning, she realises something terrible happened during the night and she can't seem to find any of her loved ones, get in contact with them, nor can she remember anything.
In summary, she is both the protagonist and antagonist of the entire film. Initially, she is going to play the innocent victim in all of this, not having any idea what has happened to her friends, boyfriend and family. To her, she was drugged the night before and now is trapped, living out a nightmare in which she is alone and terrified. In reality, however, she wasn't drugged the night before. Instead, something took over her and caused the horrednous events to unfold. She has no recollection of what happened or why it did, but an unknown number keeps calling her. Hopefully the person on the other end of the phone has the answers she needs, but first she has to find them.
We shall be pitching our idea to our peers soon, asking for advice and feedback afterwards and deciding whether we need to alter the story slightly, dramatically or just go in a completely different direction altogether. Soon, I shall post an audio recording of the pitch and feedback followed by improvements and changes we have decided to make.
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